Top Reasons Working Moms Don’t Have Friends
I see moms all the time on blogs, Facebook, Instagram, (the list goes on) …who post pictures of “girls’ nights out” and “group trips”. I always feel just a little bit sad. I don’t have many friends.
I’d like to think that it is NOT because I’m a social outcast, or that I have bad breath, or some other irrational reason I conjure up in my head. It’s because I’m a working mom.
Making friends as a working mom is hard!!
Working mom (and, to be fair, SAHM’s, I’m sure) schedules consist of working, grocery shopping, cleaning, running errands, doctor’s/dentists appointments, sports practices/games…and somewhere in there we try to schedule family time, so we can make memories and our kids won’t need therapy when they grow older.
We try hard to make time for our husbands, and once and a GREAT long while for ourselves.
I’ve tried planning girls’ nights before. OMG!! We could never find a night where we were all free, and our husbands weren’t thrilled about our being gone for a few hours…it ended up being too stressful and never got scheduled.
Plus, for some of us, if we leave our husbands to cook, our kids will end up having ice cream for dinner.
Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a mom (Working or SAHM)?
Our conversations usually go like this:
Me: OMG! It’s so great to see you? How have you been?
Other Mom: I’m so good…how are you?
Me: I’m great? My job is going…Michael, stop playing in the dirt…great!
Other Mom: That’s awesome! I just started…Johnny, stop hitting your sister…yoga.
Me: Yoga? I love yoga. I want to get better, but I never have any…Michael, get that out of your mouth!! That sucker was on the ground, and used to be in someone else’s mouth!!…time.
Other Mom: I know what you mean. I have to do it before the kids get…Johnny, we don’t potty on the tree at the park!! Let Mommy take you to the bathroom…I’m so sorry, we need to go. It was so great to see you!
Me: You too!
Trust me, it’s not easy. Fortunately, moms don’t have one track minds so we are able to pick out the bits of conversation and keep going (until your child tries to water the trees at the park).
Have you tried to hold conversations at your child’s practices/games?
Moms rarely sit down for more than five minutes at a time because we are always so busy …so, to have roughly two hours to sit in one place is heaven.
I’m usually pretty shy so it’s hard for me to strike up conversations with people I don’t know…but I’ve been making a real effort to get to know the other moms of the kids on my son’s baseball team, but it’s challenging.
We start talking and either one of our other kids interrupt…or one of the kids on the field does something really awesome, and our attention is drawn to that. No more conversation…
Enjoy the moment!
I have decided that I’m not going to dwell on the fact that I don’t have “friends” and just enjoy those little bits of connections. Be grateful for every interaction…it probably means just as much to the other mom as well.
Our busy schedules aren’t going to change. Our children won’t mysteriously start standing still so you can have a conversation. Our lives won’t suddenly become less chaotic.
By focusing on the positive, those small interactions will turn into relaxing calms amid the commotion of our lives.
But how do you enjoy the moment?
When you catch someone’s eye, smile! You both might not have time to talk, but that friendly gesture could make both of your days.
Focus on the positives when you see an old friend. You said hello, you developed a connection with an adult human being, and you brought a happy attitude to someone’s day. Win-win-win
At the end of the day, focus on all of the positive interactions you helped to create. Create optimistic energy, because optimistic energy brings more optimistic energy…and we all could use more of that.