I have a very bad habit. I judge myself constantly against other women…and always come up short. They are prettier, have nicer hair, have more confidence, have better clothes, are cuter, the list goes on and on and on…. This isn’t anything new, I’ve always felt this way. I never felt good enough to even talk to anyone. When someone did talk to me, I was surprised. I wish I could say this went away as I got more mature…but it never has. I still get surprised when someone wants to talk to me.
Today I went to the gym (whoo hoo…two days in a row) during lunch and when I was done…I went to the locker room to change and saw two friends talking to each other. OMG, one of them had a perfect butt. No, I wasn’t looking at her like that… it was more like I was motivated to get back on the treadmill and run some more. She was talking to her friend, who had the most awesome chestnut hair with really cool streaks.
Get Over Yourself
When I walked by, one of them started laughing and said “Oh my God!”. My first thought was they were laughing at me. Did I have something hanging out that shouldn’t be? Was I too sweaty? Was my belly bouncing around too much? I kept walking… but I was devastated inside. I wished that I’d had a friend with me so I didn’t feel so alone.
As I walked by (keeping my head held high), I then heard her say “Look at my sunburn!” Ok, ok…maybe they weren’t laughing at me. I felt pretty stupid.
I started thinking about why I always feel like people are talking about me or judging me. Coincidentally, I’d been listening to a podcast while I was on the treadmill, and the speaker had been talking about body images and accepting ourselves…and NOT judging ourselves against others. I realized that I really need to get over myself.
Then I heard Miss Perfect Butt say “Oh my God” …she seemed to say that a lot in the conversation…” Look at this cellulite…I need to get a tan.” Wait…what???… I’m not the only one that feels this way? Maybe most girls are just like me…always feeling so imperfect.
Accept Your Flaws
Why do we feel this way? It’s not like the media hasn’t been changing lately. We see more curvy models, and more articles on accepting ourselves. Athletes are portrayed as sexier than 60-lb models. We see more focus placed on health, and strength training. We have strong role models that show us we are allowed to accept ourselves, even with all of our flaws.
How can flaws be ok? How can it be ok to have stretch marks, and a big butt, and a stomach that hangs down a little more than it should? Well, I got these stretch marks and stomach because I gave birth to six beautiful children. My body carried these children and brought me unspeakable joy (yes, stress too, but mainly joy). Without these stretch marks and flabby stomach, I wouldn’t be a mom. I wouldn’t know what it is to be fulfilled. My body has a purpose. I have a purpose.
Maybe my flaws are ok…. (still gotta work on the butt though) …